So....what now?

Where do we go nooowwww, where do go now?

I hate that song, but it fits perfectly.

Soooo I don’t have to worry about feeling trapped at work BECAUSE yesterday at 6am, my entire shift, including my boss, got laid off. The big heads explained that it had nothing to do with us watching movies in the conference room, talking good music for hours at a time, e-mailing funny cat pictures, or taking naps on the couches, but rather it was due to a major lack of work brought in by the company. Not my bad, so I can get unemployment. Phew.

23. Collecting unemployment. And I already paid for everything for my Mardi Gras trip. Hey, what ya gonna do? Life is hard!

Am I pissed? A little. Because I felt I was a pretty good worker, not the best, but better than a few gems on first or second shift. If not me, some of my co-workers were certainly the cream of the crop. But because we were put on third shift, we got the axe. I was in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

Am I worried? Sorta. It took me over a year to find a job after college. So, back to the start, huh? Now I have rent, a few bills, and what not. I’ll manage. I’m bit concerned about how bored I’ll be, but I’ll make it! I WON’T be bored, because I’m in control.

Am I disappointed? Not at all. There’s nothing I can do about it.

Am I excited? YES!!!!! I get to do this all over again, and this time - enjoy myself. I get time to figure out what I’m going to do. Am I going to go back to school (ha, probably not), what is next? Where do I want to go? What hobbies do I want to take up? What jobs do I want to apply for? Should I sell some of my knitting online? Should I take a trip?

I almost feel like this is a sign. I went to college, got out, and waitressed. I worked hard, saved money, and was very worried about it. I felt worthless without a “real job.” I tried to be relaxed and tell myself “THIS WILL WORK OUT, YOU WILL BE OKAY” but my brain couldn’t chill. Then, I got hired, and moved, and worked weird hours and got all wacky, missed my friends and my social life - but made money. Did I feel accomplished? As from the last post I made, NO. It did nothing. It gave me bragging rights and made me sad at the same time.

And then, I lost my job due to circumstances out of my control. I can’t help that. So, I am going to make the best of this. I’ll make plans and not fret over what will happen after that. I saved my money, and I worked, and it didn’t end the way I wanted it to. But, I’ve come out a different person. I’m more optimistic. I’m happier. I’m looking forward to what is in store. I get to try again, with a different outlook. I feel like Peter from Office Space, haha. I’ll be fine. And I can’t wait to see what’s next.

By the way, I LOVED my co-workers. They were such a fun hodgepodge of characters, and we all got along so well. While there was only eight of us, we made a great team. We had common ground, talked about all sorts of things, and if it weren’t for them - I would have probably be absolutely miserable at work. They made me laugh, cheered me up without even knowing it, and so much more. I will miss them incredibly, and I am sure no other group will come close to their awesomeness.

Anyway, I’m off to try to transition back to normal people time after six months. Wish me luck!